Top Ten: What I Would Wear To The Oscars 2013

I prefer "Oscars" to "Academy Awards".

So it's that time of year again: the best day of the year. The day that is more important than your birthday, Valentine's Day, Christmas, New Year's, and even Halloween.

Yes, that's right. The Oscars.

As this incredible day is upon us, I am constantly reminded of the fact that I have not been invited. But I will not let my bitterness wreck this day for me, which is why I have decided to pretend that I'm going.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present, the Top Ten looks I would wear to the 85th Annual Academy Awards 2013:

#10: Balmain

Yes, I would actually be that one person who shows up to the Red Carpet wearing gold pants. But maybe this is more of an after-party look?

#9: Jean Paul Gaultier

I would definitely toss aside the bangles and earrings, but overall, I love this look. It reminds me of Julianne Moore in A Single Man. How genius did she look in that film?

#8: Atelier Versace

Those shoes hurt like my hangover, but this hot pink... thing is quite awesome. It's The Cookie Monster meets Barbie. It's probably more appropriate for the Grammys, but there's no chance in hell I would go to that even if I was invited (it's basically a mosh-pit of everyone who has broken up and written endless songs about it. Get over it).

#7: Armani Privé

I don't have a lot to say about this dress other than that it looks really elegant and lovely.

#6: Bouchra Jarrar

This is quite dark and slightly dominatrix-y, which makes me love it so much. Plus, that slit isn't as annoying as those other slits that every celebrity has donned since Angelina in Atelier Versace last year. This slit is cool.

#5: Chanel

This dress is quite sweet, so I love that the model has very dark eye make-up. That's exactly how I would do it too. And I love that head-piece. I would want to look exactly like this model. Like, EXACTLY.

#4: Alexander McQueen

I would want to look EXACTLY like this model too. Except maybe with crazier hair. I love how the dress looks quite Gothic/Victorian, which would be fantastic in a sea of those stupid Sofia Vergara mermaid-dresses that everyone will be wearing.

#3: Roberto Cavalli

This is quite Gothic too, which is, again, why I love it. There's something about black, red, sheer, and embellishments that go so perfectly together.

#2: Giambattista Valli

There's something so 80's Rock N' Roll about this dress. I would totally rock it out with minimal make-up and jewelry too. But big hair though. Big hair.

#1: Chanel

There's just something about a Chanel gown that makes me so excited. This is my favorite because it's so cute and pretty, but those shoes and make-up transform it into a kind of messed-up fairy tale princess look. It's genius. This is something I can see Elle Fanning wearing, which is probably why I love it so much. Pure. Genius.