Fashion Fail: Amber Heard in Pineapple Express

Dating a stoner results in you, too, dressing like a stoner.

I feel as strongly about stoner-style as I do about hipster-style; it should remain utterly unseen because it is unthinkably atrocious.

So I saw Pineapple Express (2008) for the first time last night, and whilst everyone has been telling me for years about how hilarious it is, I simply couldn't get past the tragedy of it: Angie Anderson (a.k.a. Amber Heard) is a gorgeous high school girl, but she has no sense of style... probably because her boyfriend is a stoner.

On the "Druggie Style Scale", stoners are just a notch above heroine-addicts (who are at the bottom. Trainspotting, anyone?) and way below the coke-heads (who are at the top, always). 

At the end of the film, my only thought was: "Angie, take inspiration from Elvira in Scarface and dump the stoner."

Please.